Mark Van Horn

We Live the Life We Chose

We are faced with day to day, minute by minute choices. Do we choose the ones that involve risk, or do we go with the comfortable? More often than not it’s the safe, comfortable ones. After a lifetime of choosing between comfort and perceived risk, what we are left with is the life we have. Disappointed? No sense in playing the blame game. We are what we are because of a lifetime of choices.

If this is all true (which it appears to me that it is), then the comfort zone will control us until we decide to control it.

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone (?)

No one likes to do that! Too painful, or scary. Personal growth and self-help gurus sell tons of books and programs spouting “get out of your comfort zone,” when most of us just won’t, or can’t. It just doesn’t happen in real life. Fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings, and anger are the five components of the comfort zone. Any one, or a combination of them, could be what’s holding you captive in your comfort zone (“we are what we are because of a lifetime of choices”). Continue reading

Keys to Happiness (and Success)

Remember that we’ve been studying how to implement change in our lives? There is scientific proof for some of the methods suggested in the Master Key Experience. According to studies started at Harvard University, research over the past 30 years in what is now called “positive psychology” has found that people who are happy perform better- up to 37% better in relationships, acquaintances, and in business.

A Conundrum

Most people think that if we work harder we will become successful, and when we become successful we will be happy. In reality, it’s the other way around. We need to reverse the formula for happiness and success.

Every time your brain has a success, you’ve just changed what the goalpost of success looked like. Whatever that was, it has now become the next bigger or better thing. If happiness is on the opposite side of success, your brain will never get there. We’ve pushed our idea of success over our mind’s horizon. Continue reading

What IS Kindness?

I found this definition for the word kindness: the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Synonyms: kindliness, kind-heartedness, warm-heartedness, tender-heartedness, goodwill, affectionateness, affection, warmth, gentleness, tenderness, concern, care. Kindness is…Amazing!

Opportunities to be kind can be found anywhere and anytime. Even when we are alone, we can be kind to ourselves. And when we find ourselves in emotional places where we’d rather not be, we can feel better by performing random acts of kindness that will lift our spirits. Continue reading

Breakthroughs and Detours

I know that the theme for Week 16 was kindness, preceded by gratitude, and I fully intend to post about that, as my thinking of kindness has provided a breakthrough for me (more about that breakthrough soon). But now I need to digress. It’s confession time. I’ve been struggling with my blog posts, can you tell?

My goal has been to make one post every week, with a deadline of Thursday at 9 pm. I’ve only to make that deadline once in 16 weeks. The actual publishing dates have been closer to one every 8-10 days, and the writing quality that I want in the articles has been lacking. The struggle has not been with content. No, it has been due to a lack of motivation, brought on by frustration. It didn’t start out that way.

Blogging vs. Writing

(but don’t forget about the words)

My purpose for writing these blog posts was not to become a “professional” writer, but since I am writing, I want the writing to be good. Does that make sense? Continue reading

Nature’s Greatest Miracle

How is it that I could possibly be nature’s greatest miracle? Og Mandino infers just that in one of the chapters of his now classic book “The Greatest Salesman in the World.” Chapter 11, “The Scroll Marked IV,” starts off by pointing out that no two people have ever been exactly the same:

“Since the beginning of time never has there been another with my mind, my heart, my eyes, my ears, my hands, my hair, my mouth. None that came before, none that live today, and none that come tomorrow can walk and talk and move and think exactly like me. All men are my brothers yet I am different from each. I am a unique creature.”

If we are all unique creatures of nature, we can be considered rare. We can derive value from this rareness:

“I am rare, and there is value in all rarity; therefore, I am valuable. I am the end product of thousands of years of evolution; therefore, I am better equipped in both mind and body than all the emperors and wise men who preceded me.” Continue reading

Gratitude & Thankfulness

The definition of the word “gratitude” – the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness; appreciative of benefits received. Synonyms: gratefulness, thankfulness, thanks, appreciation, indebtedness; recognition, acknowledgment, credit.  Gratitude begets thankfulness.

We can express gratitude in times of plenty and in times of loss, therefore  we can be thankful for trials as well as blessings. We learn from both. Trials are often blessings, though we might not recognize them as such until the trial has passed.

The Source

In my world, God is the giver of all things, whether we think of them as bad or good. Although He may use specific individuals and entities to deliver items and experiences directly, He nevertheless, is the source. Continue reading

Persistence Is…

Here are a few dictionary definitions of the term “persistence”- firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition. The quality that allows someone to continue doing something or trying to do something even though it is difficult or opposed by other people: the state of occurring or existing beyond the usual, expected, or normal time.

Persistence is the spirit-enabled ability to practice habits daily that will help you develop the skills necessary for competency in a particular task. It is the habits that are practiced everyday that give us the strength to endure, to press on, to persist. Some people think that persistence is “not quitting”, or “just hanging in there” when things get tough. But when circumstances become difficult, and these habits haven’t been established, then we default to the familiar. Unfortunately, most people’s familiar here is to give up, quit. Continue reading

Phrases Aimed at Affecting the Mind

Here are a few dictionary definitions of the term “affirmation”-the action or process of affirming something; emotional support or encouragement. The act or an instance of affirming. Something affirmed : a positive assertion. Synonyms: declaration, statement, assertion, proclamation, pronouncement, asseveration, avouchment, avowal, claim, declaration, insistence, profession, protestation. Affirmations are sentences or phrases aimed at affecting the mind, conscious and subconscious.

The words used, automatically and involuntarily, bring up related mental images into the mind, which can inspire, energize and motivate. Repeating affirmations affect the subconscious mind, which in turn, influences the behavior, habits, actions and reactions. Affirmations can also be referred to as autosuggestion, or self-suggestion, and are key parts to Think and Grow Rich (Napoleon Hill) and The Master Key System (Charles Haanel).

Some Of My Affirmations

“I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy.” “I can be what I will to be.” “If it is to be, it’s up to me.” These are examples of affirmations that I use to build my self confidence. Others that I use, such as “do it now,” and “do the work” are to replace bad habits I have (procrastination) with new good habits. Continue reading

Refusing To Answer The Call – Still/Again

I still say to myself (everyday it seems) that I don’t like the life that I have and that I’m going to do something about it. The life that I am living has not been forced upon me. The circumstances in some people’s lives are forced upon them, but that is not the type I’m addressing here. For the most part, I’ve either chosen this life or have settled for it. Now I’m complaining about the choices that I made, and I’m refusing to let go of the life I created for myself. It’s actually a chemical addiction (medically proven). 

Awareness

Something or someone somewhere issued a “call” to me, the call to be a hero. The hero in my own story would be me, by changing my life. I first heard this call long ago but I wasn’t really listening. I began to hear it more often just in the last 8 years or so, and now I’ve actually been listening intentionally. Yes, I heard that call, but to be a hero, I’d have to answer it. Everyone knows that change is hard for most people. I am certainly no different. However, I’ve been given the tools I need to break this addiction, this bad habit. Continue reading